Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he puts the penis in happiness.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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