come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
