Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
