hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
