I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
