Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
