So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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