Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
