i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
