shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
