That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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