I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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