I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
