Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
