i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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