this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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