I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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