He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
