Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
