**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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