can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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