Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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