Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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