I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
