names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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