Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
