When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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