It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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