Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
