If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
