i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
