If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
