We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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