I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
