Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
