she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
