Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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