I want to have your abortion
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dick very happy bro
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
