I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
