if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
