$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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