when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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