Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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