Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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