I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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