That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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