Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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