just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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