Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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