she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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