it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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