I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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