Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
