its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
