Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
