Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
