This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
