worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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