Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
