just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The best revenge is premature balding
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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