Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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